Preaching for pennies.

I started working for a terrible boss about 3 months ago and have since asked to be transferred to a different department.  Unfortunately, the move has not happened yet and as each day passes, she’s making my life more and more miserable.  Her creativity in how to be a bitch is actually rather impressive.  In a moment of utter frustration (and fantasy), I drafted my resignation letter to the CEO while laughing maniacally inside.  Now if I only had the balls to eat instant ramen for 3 months straight while I looked for another job.  Letter below for you enjoyment.

Dear Mr. XXX,

You obviously don’t know me but I have been working here at XXX for the past 2 years and have decided that if I must go, I might as well go spectacularly.  That is, in part, a reason for this letter.  The larger issue that I hope you will take to heart is how employees are treated here under your stewardship.  I do not write this intending to burn bridges, but if they must burn, then so be it.

Overall, I think that XXX has been a relatively nice place of employment.  It has its flaws, but what organization doesn’t?  And for the most part, my time here has been an enjoyable one.  I have met and worked with a lot of wonderful and talented people, many of whom I can now consider close friends.  However, in the past couple of months I have worked under a certain manager who has had the impressive skill of making me reconsider my life’s course.

I am in no way a hasty or emotional person.  In fact, I think most people would say that I’m almost devoid of that particular side of humanity.   Thus, it is with the utmost mental clarity that I tell you that she might possible be the worst person I have ever had the unfortunate fate of meeting in a workplace environment.

She insults my intelligence, my person, and my work.  She has deleted my work in front of me and told me to my face that what I spent time on was worthless and that she needed to do everything herself.  Yes, my work was subpar, but is it any wonder with such a toxic manager abusing her authority?  I have given it a thorough reflection and have come to the conclusion that I do not have the mental fortitude to withstand her incessant attacks and my work suffered greatly under her “guidance.”  But the reason for this letter is not to give you a detailed account of the sling and arrows I endured.  That would take too long and be too reminiscent of a historical account of the inquisition.  Nor is it my goal to inform you that just as my predecessor before me, so too do I wave the white flag of surrender in the face of such daunting bitchery.

Mine is a nobler goal in hoping that you can change this organization for the better so that you can retain people like me.  I think I have a lot of talent and I believe I can give a lot to the organization.  Everything in my history, including my Ivy League pedigree, attests to this fact.  I did not want to leave, but the structure of the company did not allow me to stay.

Once I realized that I could not handle the abuse, I very quickly asked for a transfer out.  There was no place for me within my division so I looked elsewhere.  Unfortunately, and idiotically, a transfer to another division required a sign off with an endorsement from my current manager.  Talk about not making sense.  Any and all doors close when the hiring managers in the other buildings see a manager bashing an employee regardless of reason or it if is even deserved.  The fact is that this perspective employee comes with baggage and there are plenty of other who don’t.  The reason for rejecting me is pretty simple.

During the process, I was also told by HR to apply to a single position at a time for reasons including “for purposes of ensuring that both your manager and HR are aligned with any applicable and transferrable skills at the right time.”  This logic is flawed on two major fronts.  If my manager’s treatment of me can best be described by a medieval depiction of Hell and has told me to my face that the work I produce is worthless, what makes her insight into my skills worthwhile?  Furthermore, my HR manager has no idea what I do or what my performance is outside of what she hears from said manager.  It’s pretty obvious that they will be aligned and that alignment will not be in my favor.  The second issue is that the statement placed no consideration for the desperation that I was feeling to get out.  Things got worse daily, and since I’m looking regardless, what does it matter if it’s one of ten different positions?

If an employee does poorly, he or she can be fired or disciplined.  If a manager manages poorly, there are no repercussions and the employee either needs to grin and bear it or leave the company altogether.  I have spoken to many people, including those in very senior roles and they have all advised that I find employment elsewhere.  They too saw no way around this ridiculous system.

Is that really the only choice?  Why is it that mangers are not held to high standards for developing those under them?  Why are they not held accountable for doing a terrible job?  Every year there is a review from the top down, but never one from the bottom up.  Those are all pertinent questions to aks, and you also need to wonder how much talent you have lost over the years because of situations like mine.  This is a common problem among all large scale organizations where the employment base is so broad.  Those at the apex are so far removed from the daily grind of those at the bottom that they don’t see these issues.  But know that the issues are there and good, hardworking employees leave while their cancerous bosses remain.

If you do decide to ask questions, I have no doubt that you will receive some rather unfavorable stories about me from the party in question.  Some may be made up and some taken out of context.  Some may even be true because I did lash out immaturely during the height of my frustration.  Regardless of what you may hear or conclude, know that I am not writing to sway your opinion of me.  All I hope for is that you will at least think about holding members of this company accountable for the abuses that they commit while wearing the mantle of management.  I also hope that you will think about a way to change the system so that those unfortunate enough to run into such abuses do not suffer for them.

TFB: I got into a car accident.

You okay?  What happened?

TFB: I was tired and the car drifted.

What did you hit?

TFB: A tree and a pole.

Did you go to the hospital?

TFB: Went to jail.

Jail?

TFB: Cops said I was drunk.

TFB: You drank and drove?

I wasn’t drunk, just tired.

For a normal individual without any sort of physical abnormalities, body weight is a relatively simple mathematical formula.  Your body naturally burns X amount of calories just by being alive.  Physical activity will add Y amount to your caloric expenditure.   If I is the variable for intake, or how much you consume, then:

If I = X + Y, bodyweight will stay the same.

If I < X + Y, bodyweight will fall.

If I > X + Y, bodyweight will rise.

Weight loss or lack thereof is, in most cases, the manipulation of the above function.  Many people diet, which causes a reduction in variable I.  Many will choose to exercise which is an increase in Y.  Some may choose to do both to maximize their results.  Regardless of which route is chosen, as long as the variables change over a prolonged period of time, results will ensue.

Now the office I currently work at is predominantly female.  As a result, weight loss is a frequently broached topic.  Besides the annoyance of listening to so many body image issues so consistently, I don’t see much harm in this chit-chat.  What really bothers me is the loud declaration and gross exaggeration of facts by the most vocal of those who sit around me.

To put it bluntly, these ladies are on the, shall we say, larger side.  For some reason unbeknownst to me, they choose to raucously articulate their physical exploits at least two or three times a week.  Now I have nothing against fat people.  It’s most oftentimes a choice and who am I to judge how they live their life?  But at the end of the day they are fat for a reason, whether it is a lack of self-control, poor dietary habits, or what have you.  So if they really are running marathons, playing volleyball, tennis, and softball, chances are they shouldn’t be fat.  Hell, I’m in great shape and I’m pretty certain that I cannot run as many marathons and partake in as many sports in the period of time they claim.  Nor do I wake up early in the morning for a “quick” three to five mile jog through Central Park when the weather allows.  That is not a ridiculous distance, but neither is it a cakewalk.

Fact of the matter is, if their activity level is truly that high, then they should be far from the rotund states that I see every day.  I don’t mind if they are fat.  I don’t mind if they want to talk about their exercise routines.  Hell, at the end of the day, I really don’t mind that much if they lie about what they do.  But the line is drawn when they belt out their efforts as if they were Moses on the Mount.  No one needs to hear it and if they really want the rest of us to appreciate the pains they go through for weight loss, at least lose the weight first.  It’ll be more believable.

Please don’t spit in the street.  There are plenty of trash cans and other waste receptacles.  If you must spit, please do so away from the masses.  Maybe do it in a corner or edge of a building where it has a much lower probability of touching another human being.  Nobody wants to see your phlegm hit the sidewalk or accidentally step in it.  I understand that the sole of my shoes will block me from direct contact and that I’m probably stepping in much grosser things every day.  But just the thought of it is pretty unpleasant and we could all use a little less unpleasantness in our lives.

The worst is when someone spits somewhere people go for recreational purposes, like large lawns in the summer time for example.  Do you know what people do on large lawns in the summer?  They sit on them.  Or lay on them.  Many use towels, but some don’t.  And regardless of whether or not there is a degree of separation between mucous and skin, it’s still very disgusting to be on the receiving end of the contact.

Another place is a playground or basketball court.  I’ve seen many a young man spit around the court while playing basketball.  While I’ve never seen anyone spit directly on the court, I must ask another question.  Do you know where loose balls go?  They are called loose balls for a reason and many times it goes out of bounds.  Out of bounds to where all that spit is.  People dribble basketballs with their hands.  I really don’t understand why people spit with abandon everywhere they go with no thoughts as to how it will impact those around them.  It just isn’t very hygienic.

Next time you decide that you need to divulge some of your bodily fluids in a highly public arena please consider whether or not you’re willing to have whoever is next to you spit on you.  If the answer is no, what makes you think others around you are willing to touch your discharge?  Pretty good question right?

Riding the elevator for three floors or less should be outlawed for those individuals who have no medical condition preventing them from walking.  The average height of a floor in a building is roughly twelve feet, rounding up for good measure gives fifteen.  Adding in a liberal five feet between floors yields a vertical climb of forty feet to get to the third floor.

That’s all, just forty feet.  That’s probably less distance than the average American walks on their circuits between TV, fridge, and restroom on any given night.  No one is asking these people to climb that distance on a rope, on the outside of the building, or in any other sort of physically taxing way.  It’s a walk up stairs that pass United States building codes for safety and ergonomics.  These stairs are not hard to climb for the average individual.  It really just boils down to laziness.  I can appreciate laziness.  Everyone, me included, is guilty of lapsing into laziness a lot of the time.  But I try to refrain from lazy behavior when it might be a nuisance to others.  And believe me lazy elevator riding is incredibly annoying.

People generally lean toward the unhappier side early in the morning, during evening commutes, and other periods when they are in a rush.  That’s understandable.  Now imagine riding down from the fifteenth floor, stopping, going, stopping, going, each extra passenger slowly grating on your nerves.  Then when you’re almost there, the elevator stops on the second floor and in waltzes a perfectly healthy two legged human being.  Your ride is prolonged for another precious thirty seconds.  Thirty seconds that you will never get back.  Thirty seconds that might have made you miss your train or bus.  Going down is generally more annoying than up, but not by much.

The worst offenders of lazy elevator riding are those individuals who do it to go to the gym.  Let me reiterate that—the gym.  You’re going to a place where people go to sweat and indulge in hard physical activity and you can’t walk a couple of stairs?  The extreme irony comes from those who ride for a floor only to hop onto a treadmill, elliptical, cycling machine, and the granddaddy of them all, the stair master.  As I lay witness to these instances unfolding, my brain literally blue screens from its inability to process the reasoning behind such an act.  The people are taking the elevator to go climb stairs.  Mind boggling.